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  • mariasylvesterterr

what's lurking underneath our weight loss wishes?


do you notice yourself romanticizing weight loss? that is... when you lose the weight you've wanted, you'll also feel confident, find success, meet the person of your dreams, and become the most productive version of yourself. your bills get paid, your boundaries are strong, and your laundry is always folded.


*record scratch* lol ma'am, is this a Noom commercial?


it shouldn't surprise you that feelings of weight loss come up when we're feeling like none of the above is happening for us.


as we shift into Hustle + Bustle Holiday Mode™️ these thoughts may pop up more frequently than we're used to.


yes, even for those of you who were pretty sure you were 'done with those thoughts.'


before you butter your dinner roll with self-judgement, let's unpack what's happening underneath those recent weight loss wishes.


1. bodies as trends

i won't spend too much time here because, honestly, it's a pringles situation. once i pop, the rant don't stop.


what i will say is that recent urges to lose weight may be related to re-popularization of the notion that 'thin is in.' come on NY Post, was thin was ever actually out??


the notion that thinner is healthier, happier, and better is not a trend - it's a patriarchal, capitalistic, fatphobic staple.


and yet, you can know that and still be deeply impacted by it. even if you wished you weren't. even if you 'know' better.


consider this: your brain is not impervious to an insidious culture that purports bodies as trends.


it is absolutely okay to feel consciously or subconsciously affected by headlines that threaten your body size and your body acceptance journey. it is understandable for those weight loss thoughts to pop up, especially when we feel this way.


2. bodies as business cards/report cards

are you preparing to see friends or family you haven't seen in a while? going to an in-person work event when you mostly work from home? taking a winter vacation?


it's possible that underneath a recent weight loss urge is the expectation that your body may be seen and, in a way, evaluated by others.


we may fear that our bodies will be judged, especially if they've changed over the months or years. is it a sign that you've let yourself go? stopped taking care of yourself? that you haven't 'bounced back' from pregnancy yet?


sigh. for many, weight gain can be a sign of letting yourself be and taking care of yourself for the first time in a long time. weight loss is often met with 'congratulations!' despite not knowing what circumstances led to the weight loss.


i know that, and you know that.

but... not everybody else in your circle knows that. that's the hard part.


food and body comments can hurt, and it's understandable to want to avoid that hurt.


i wonder what we can learn about our needs when we sit here in this thought instead of placing the entirety of our energy into a weight loss attempt?


3. bodies as belonging

when i ask my clients what's underneath their weight loss urges, we often end up here: we want to feel seen, appreciated, and loved. we want to feel a sense of belonging. we want to feel at home in our bodies.


let's name it once more: it's hard to feel like our bodies belong when our society popularizes an obvious yet erroneous body hierarchy.


when our bodies change, we may find ourselves wanting to avoid gatherings altogether. we start to equate losing weight with being able to participate in the things we used to do. do you notice how this can get tricky?


know this: you belong and are deserving of belonging in the body you currently occupy.


this list could go on beyond just three things, couldn't it? my hope is that as you read through, you started to realize there may be more to that nagging little weight loss whisper in your ear.


i'm curious how these 3 concepts resonated for you, especially if you're navigating weight loss thoughts lately. leave a comment if you feel inclined.

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