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Have you ever had one of those rough body image days and confided in a friend, partner, or roommate about it, only to be met with well-intended but, frankly, terrible advice?
You might end up feeling worse having said anything, solidifying in your brain that it's just not worth bringing up.
Gosh, I hate that feeling. People can't read our minds, and they're not always going to know what to say, but... did they really just say that???
Frustrations aside, this is something we can learn to navigate.
It's normal to feel your body image get shaky around the holidays. You may be nervous about seeing relatives that tend to comment on your appearance. The change to our nutrition and movement routine can make us feel "lazy" and "not working hard enough." Maybe your favorite sweater or pair of pants aren't fitting as comfortably as you remember them.
Especially as the holidays enter the scene, you need and you deserve support for your body image! There will be moments when others unintentionally trigger your body image by talking negatively about themselves, as well as moments when our trusted people just don't quite get how to support us.
I've got some strategies for both today. We love a 2-for-1 special. Scroll on to check them out.
Navigating body image around the holidays:
For you to practice when others unintentionally trigger your body image:
Pause + check in with yourself
Has body talk entered the dinner table chat? Is Paleo Pam from the office starting her added sugar spiel again? Hit pause and take account of your emotional state.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, you can name that silently to yourself or aloud if you'd like.
"Hey, I'm not the best person for this convo today. Can we come back to this later?"
Set gentle boundaries
It’s okay to say that certain conversations don’t feel helpful or healthy for you. Boundaries aren’t about shutting them down—they’re about protecting both of you.
“I know you’re having a tough time. Conversations about weight or bodies can be really hard for me to process. Can we talk about how we’re feeling in a way that doesn’t focus on appearance?"
Redirect to shared values
Steer the conversation toward what you both care about beyond aesthetics, like shared memories, experiences, or goals. This can help shift focus away from appearance and onto something more grounding.
“I hear you’re frustrated. Maybe we can talk about how we're prioritizing our self-care this season?”
Be honest, not fix-it-y
You don’t have to solve their struggle or find the perfect words. Sometimes, a simple validation can help them feel heard without draining your energy.
"I get how hard this feels for you right now. I’m also working on feeling more at peace with my own body, so we can try to figure it out together.”
Honor your threshold
If someone repeatedly uses you as a sounding board for body negativity, you can name the impact in a kind but firm way.
“I care about you, and I want to be here for you, but I’m noticing these conversations are tough for me. Can we find another way to support each other?”
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For your loved ones to practice a better way to support you this season:
Remember that clear is kind.
First, let them know what you don’t want to hear. For example,
“You’re not fat; you're beautiful.” (Hard pass.)
"Just don’t eat the pie if it bothers you.” (Nooooope.)
Then, guide them toward what you do need. Try saying,
“Hey, it really helps me when you remind me that I’m allowed to eat without guilt and that my body isn’t my business card.”
Let them be the bouncer.
Aunt Donna bringing up nature's ozempic again? Ask your partner or friend to redirect with a quick, “Donna, tell us about that time you got locked in the garage.”
Drama and distraction = handled.
Create a secret signal.
Feeling overwhelmed at dinner? Develop a subtle signal (like a hand squeeze or an eyebrow raise) to let your loved one know you need support or a quick exit. This keeps you connected without making a scene.
Ask for celebration and comfort, not critique.
Give your loved one an opportunity to celebrate your body with you. This can sound like,
"I finally got back to my midday walks this week. I'm so proud!" or "I have so much more energy today!"
Tell your loved one that comfort helps more than critique.
"Hey, when I'm in a rough body image space, can you help remind me to find comfort in my body, like putting on my favorite sweatshirt? This helps more than saying whether my body image thoughts are right or wrong."
This is the kind of conversation that builds connection!
You might not need these strategies quite yet, however, now is the time to start thinking about how we want to support ourselves through the end of the year. Be on your body's team during this season!
And, if the weather is feeling crisp where you are, go take that body for a silly little walk for your silly little mental health.
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🍓 a little treat: have my oatmeal bake recipe!
With 16g protein and 5g fiber, this quick breakfast is here to make life easier!
A few notes --
I used almond extract by accident, and it was still lovely.
I used Ascent unflavored whey protein.
You could sub chia or sunflower for the pumpkin seeds, if you wish.
Sweetener is up to you. I used plain ol' white table sugar. Fight me, RFK.
Depending on your protein, you may need more/less liquid.
If you want this to be your only breakfast item, I'd recommend you cut the servings down from 6 to 4.
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