diet and body talk: holiday edition

what you need to hear

sometimes it feels like we contain all the questions and all the problems, like a jumbled mess of a human.

we may find ourselves feeling so stuck in this mess of thoughts, with the only exit route being someone else's guidance. what if i told you that... you already know exactly what to do?

i believe this is true in many situations, especially ones where we are feeling anxious.

consider what about the holidays makes you anxious. as an anxious person myself, i know that while some of the worse case scenarios may never happen, there is a strong possibility that something i'm anxious about could in fact occur.

for example, it's not that i'm afraid of public restrooms. it's that i know it's a possibility the door doesn't properly lock and someone walks in on me mid-tinkle. i mean, it's happened before.

all this to say, we are often anxious about things happening again.

when it comes to the holidays, we may know that our relatives are quick to make body comments.

we may know that there's a tradition of taking a family photo.

we may know that those who put starchy carbs on their plates get notified, "you know those have carbs in them, right?"

we may know that our family dives headfirst into New Year's diets.

all that knowing of previous scenarios may have us feeling that this year ushers in the inevitable. thus, we worry.

you know by now i tell you how it is. so, here's part one: even when you lay out your boundaries, you don't have control over people's words or actions. boundaries are so necessary, and yes, people can still cross them.

here's part two: you may need to be the one who tells yourself what you need to hear. and there's a secret to it.

it's simple: ask yourself what you needed to hear the first time.

that is, the first time someone commented on your outfit in a way that left you feeling strange.

or, the first time someone judged what was on your plate.

or, the first time someone shared how much weight uncle so-and-so put on this year.

listen, friend: you didn't deserve that. not when you were 5. not when you were 15. and not now.

so, ask yourself, what did you need to hear instead?

here's a list of things that, maybe, you needed to hear a long time ago but you got some diet culture nonsense instead. try these on for size this year:

1. your plate is your business. have what you'd like.

2. you can get more if you want to. you can stop if you're full.

3. you've done an amazing job this year, and you can enjoy that. you don't have to rush the new year.

4. wear what makes you comfortable. you look great, always.

5. you're doing a great job, mom.

6. i'm so glad you're here.

7. if you are happy, that's what matters.

8. what would make you feel at home right now?

let me know which one stands out to you most, or even better, what you would add to this list.